Rants: Oscar's 2013

So I planned to spend this post talking about how amazing Adele doing Skyfall was amazing, how adorable JLaur is, how Daniel Day Lewis is to Oscar movies is what Will Smith is to Blockbusters, or how the winners matched my online 'Oscar Ballot' (except for Ang Lee, I gave it to Spielberg). Instead, I'm going to rant about Seth MacFarlane. Not that the Oscars showed why he was a writer and not a comedian. Not that he is like is like a strictly worse Ricky Gervais (less cutting sarcasm, more dick jokes). But instead that people are either over-reacting to his hosting, or in some cases purposefully misconstruing what he said.

I'll start with the first thing I saw on Facebook about the Oscars. This Buzzfeed post that would serve as my first introduction to the 'horrors' that occurred last night. My reactions are below.

1. I thought it was horrible when I heard about it. But seeing the video, J Laur's fist pump made me go from cringing to laughing. The fact  that he got the gay men's chorus made it seem like he was trying not to make it crudely sexual, but just humorous, because everyone, gay men and women included, like boobs.

2. To me this was just funny. The first part about Jennifer Laurence being "old" was great, and in the second half was a pretty funny jab at Clooney. In my head, the first thing when I think of dating isn't sex, so I didn't see it as sexualizing her. I guess that's why I'm a terrible date :P

3. He made a dig at Chris Brown and people are mad at him? I can't wait until Chris Brown posts a mad tweet and people don't know whether to hate on MacFarlane or Brown.

4. I enjoyed the intentional vagueness of this joke. It was something that you could use to trick one of your friends. I thought it was just funny. Its a style of joke that I think is clever.

5. If you've never read about what happens before Fashion week, this seems like a bad generalization. But this was actually his most Gervais-esque criticism of the audience.

6. Once again, this is just a style of joke that plays on tropes. I personally enjoy them and there is a forum game based on them. What is the movie about an old widower kidnapping a young boy and taking him to South America? (Hint: "My name is Doug, and I love you!")

7.  No comment. All I know about the Kardashians is Lamar Odom and Kris Humpries dated them?

8. I could totally believe this was just a coincidence. Nicholson is a goddamn superstar and revels in it (He interrupted JLaur's post Oscar interview) If it was intentional, this is a phenomenal jab at the Academy and Seth has brass balls. They gave an accused rapist a Best Director award, which is what he is referencing.

9. The person who included this in the list must be an idiot, because they don't realize that Javier Bardem is a dude. He is making fun of foreigners, not women.

With this premise, I assumed that most people who were angry at MacFarlane were wrong. I admit that the man couldn't deliver worth shit, and that some of his jokes were bad (like the beard one), but I've seen people decrying him as a misogynist. Did he make jokes at the expense of women? Yes. But, he poked fun at men at the same time. Channing Tatum was the actual stripper. Clooney ditches women when they get old. Jack Nicholson is your creepy uncle that would host an Oscar's orgy. I will admit, I have yet to watch all of the Oscars, but I will when I get the chance (just to see Adele perform again).

The other thing that people threw hissyfits over was the Onion tweeting “Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a c--t, right? #Oscars2013”. When I heard about it, I was amused. Facebook last night was people gushing over this girl. Talking about how cute, amazing, or inspiraqtional she was. The Onion cleverly attacked all of this hero worship by juxtaposing all the nice things people were saying with something terrible. The joke was successful, because what the Onion was saying saw so absurd, it must be satire (I hate when the Onion does that "subtle satire" bullshit). People say that this (like MacFarlane's joke) sexualizes the little girl. I know that people use cunt as a synonym for bitch. Its on Wikipedia, for crying out loud. I was told that this was different, because it was talking about a specific girl, not an idea. Tell me that you felt that way about Bristol Palin.

I'm getting tired. Rant over.


Lyric of the Day: Three Doors Down - Love Me When I'm Gone

I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Don't Stay

This is a poem(?) idea that I have had for a while, and since I had a good time writing the last one (which I still have to revise), I figured I would write another. Enjoy!

If you don't, it really doesn't matter. I write this because I'm terrified that one day I will forget it all.

This took me like a month to put together. But in the end I rushed to publish it because I couldn't stand at looking at it any longer.

Don't Stay
-----------

Don't stay in the same state that you went to for high school when you go to college.
You need to take this chance to explore somewhere new.


Don't stay at the same place for grad school where you did your undergrad.
People won't respect your degree as much.

I always thought that these ideas were bullshit.
Not the message to move on, but the premises they provided.

"This is my one chance to explore somewhere new?", I would scoff.
Bitch please, I can study abroad on the other side of the world if I want to.
I can take road trips across state lines, yelling out the name of each new place I visit.
And so I did. Out of defiance, rather than desire.

"Why the hell would I want to go anywhere else?"
Sure our city is number one in drug-related violence,
But MD is great for education and we legalized gay marriage.
Hell, our Governor could be the next president.

"They will respect my work, not my resume"
Though in this one I will concede defeat.
Because my vision is based on some idealist world,
where a man is judged not on the color of his skin, but the content of his works.

The real reason not to stay is because of overwhelming nostalgia.

Seeing familiar places brings back memories.

Tennis courts where I should have gone every week,
Coffee shops where I wasn't there for the coffee,
Lecture halls where sleeping students got higher grades,
Living rooms where we talked like philosopher kings,
Entire buildings devoted to missed opportunities.
I could build a bridge to Hawaii with the amount of sentimentality I feel sometimes.

But even if I leave, these places will still be a part of me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lyric of the Day: Coheed and Cambria - Here We Are Juggernaut

Keep your secrets in the dark
Nothing matters anymore
Body's breaking, drive me crazy
This is not your place
No, this is not your playground it's my heart
We were stupid, we got caught
But nothing matters anymore
So what? Here we are Juggernaut

When Harry Met Sally

So I rewatched When Harry Met Sally today. Found it on Youtube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5pci2fE96M

IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED IT, WATCH IT BEFORE YOU READ THE LAST TWO PARAGRAPHS. OR ELSE I WON'T FORGIVE YOU.

This is on my top 5 movies of all time, up there with Good Will Hunting and A Knight's Tale.

To me, those three movies have had special meanings.

Good Will Hunting has always reminded me that it is not our fault that the world has shaped us into the people that we are,  that the main reason to use your talent is for those who don't have what you have, and that sometimes in life you have to do things to make sure that you have few regrets.

A Knight's Tale has always been my way of remembering that you will meet amazing people along your life journey and that it is what a person does that defines him, not where he came from.

When Harry met Sally was my reminder to never waste time when you think you've found something great, and that different things have different meanings to different people.

Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan throw around a lot of knowledge in that movie. The iconic "I'll have whant she's having" scene is my second favorite, only to the "When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life as soon as possible" scene.

Keeping pace

I've been losing pace, as the past couple of days I worked on some longer entries that I didn't end up posting. I know, I'm lame.

I managed to get out of CP this weekend. Learned a new way to eat boiled eggs and spent some quality time with various friends. Managed to place third in a board game competition.

I interviewed with a place that was interested, so we will see how that turns out. I think we have more control over our lives than we realize, because every small decision can change how the future works out. I'm usually happy with the choices I made though.

My laptop charger died (its the second one in less than a year), so I'm going to give the company an angry call tomorrow.

Lyric of the Day: Dido - I Don't Want To Wait (Yeah, the Dawson's Creek song)

I don't want to to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry?

Sports Blogging

Looked like I chose too early to end my sports theme blog. Today I got to see MD beat #2 Duke by 2 in the last game of the rivalry. It was pretty fantastic.

Had some good pre-game time with my office mates, had a toned down version of post-celebration CP, saw a decent band called Burnt Sienna, shared some of my wisdom, and made bets about the future.

I am totally ready to collect my $5.

Cleaning up

I realized today that I need to clean up stuff. My problem is that I get sentimental and I feel bad about throwing things out.

I realized that I could document things here and have them for later. Genius, right?

Today I am putting away seven movie stubs that were in my wallet, but that I made into a little stack on my desk when I cleaned out my wallet.

Snow White - I saw this last summer. Loved everything but KStew.

Brave - Saw this with the gparents when they lost power. The mall was a good warm place for us to go.

Looper - This was pretty good. I enjoyed a time-travel action movie that told you to shut up and focus on the action.

Skyfall (x3) -Saw this on opening night, with someone I promised to see it with, and with the old crew(plus a new, legit member). Loved it more each time. Each time I also sat in different places in the theater xD

Hansel and Gretel - Saw this last week with friends from college. Qdoba and a movie should be more than a once a month thing.

Now all that is left is my room , my car, and my office.

Lyric of the Day: Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love 

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day.

Today I'm going to forsake my annual tradition of curling up with a bottle of Disarrono and a pint of Ben and Jerry's while I watch some combination of My Sassy Girl, Love Actually, and my favorite arc from HIMYM. I have been told that going out will be good for me. Good thing I'm a sucker for karaoke.

One thing I do miss about living in the dorms was being able to run down the halls and hand out conversation hearts. I like the spirit of the holiday (until I start thinking about my own love life), and that was a fun way to celebrate it.

Conversation hearts are to me the Candy Corn of February. They taste mediocre, but when you start eating them, you can't stop.

At least some people are getting paid.

True love is waiting for your SO to finish their experiment so that you can go to lunch together, even though you are already hungry xD

Lyric of the Day: Drake -Take Care (Florence+the machine cover [from ET])

I know you've been hurt by someone else

I can tell by the way you carry yourself

If you let me, here's what I'll do
I'll take care of you

I've loved and I've lost

Why are kids like velociraptors?

Today is all about how kids are like velociraptors. I thought of the idea, but one of my friends convinced me I should actually do it. Also, I'm not in the mood to publish something serious.

- You have to look down to see them
- They scamper about
- They have no regard for their environment
- They will messily devour food when hungry
- They were both in Jurrasic Park
- As a person that doesn't have to live with them, there is so much I don't know about them
- They both have NBA teams named after them - Toronto Raptors and Phoenix Suns (get it? haha?)

If I think of more, I'll add them. If you think of some, comment them and I will add them.

Lyric of the day: Adele - Rolling in the Deep (Link to a live set where this is the last song)

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all.

The scars of your love,

they leave me breathless,
I can't help feeling,
We could have had it all.

Rolling in the deep.

You had my heart inside of your hand,
And you played it, to the beat.

GIVE ME A NAME!

So instead of a blog entry, I'm going to link an episode of Boy Meets World that is pretty good. What Corey says is basically what went on in my head during parts of my life. That is probably not a good thing.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Lyric of the day: Blink 182 - First Date
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

Joe Flacco's contract

One thing that has been bothering me outs that I feel like giving Joe Flacco a big contract will bite the Ravens in the ass. Tonight, I lived a metaphor of the scenario where he craps out after the big payday. Thankfully, in the real life version, all that was happened was that we got to a party 5 minutes before it got shot down.

For an optimist,  I'm pretty pessimistic.

Lyric of the Day: Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster

In her eyes,
is love and fire,
and my heart,
she's burning through

But I don't mind,
In fact I like it,
though I'm terrified,
I'm turned on but scared of you

Words I never said

Let's pretend this is a full entry that I took two hours and struggled to put together.

Thanks :P

Lyric of the day: Anna Nalick - Breathe
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Daily happenings

Today, I was bought lunch because the Ravens won.

I also saw Hansel and Gretel, which was a pretty good 'fun' movie. It had the right amount of dialogue, action, and weird for me.

Story of the day: When I went to Boston this last time, I stayed at my newly-married friends' house. Several of us crashed in their living room, but I was one of the last people to go to bed. I took a leak before I went to bed, because I was fairly full of various drinks. I crashed, and woke up the next day because we were going to Dim Sum. As we are getting ready to head out, my friend tell us "So someone left the toilet seat up last night....and I almost fell in this morning!", while looking straight at me.

The best part is that that was something she constantly had chided me for throughout all of undergrad. Maybe I'll make a better effort to remember bathroom etiquette in order to respect her home. Or maybe I'll leave the toilet seat up because that's our thing. Who knows.

Lyrics: Fun. - All Alright

And it's all alright.
I guess it's all alright.
I got nothing left inside of my chest,
but it's all alright.

Why not Law School?

Sometimes I think I should have gone to law school. I enjoy reading about cases and understanding how the rules of law apply to different situations. The legal system is organized in a way that feels logical and intuitive to me. And I enjoy knowing random "fun facts", a.k.a. precedents. Sure I have a mediocre memory for details, but generally I have a good big picture knowledge. Though, now that I think about it, I don't think a judge would be thrilled at having a lawyer referring to a case as "that one about the woman who spilled super hot McD's coffee on herself and got burned real bad, yeah, the one that was in the news".

But today I read the summary of Moose Lodge No. 107 v. Irvis and I remembered why I couldn't do law. I'm too opinionated. I look at the ruling, and I go "That's a huge cop out", because I agree with the dissent. As a lawyer, I could not be involved in a case like this and leave feeling good after the ruling. Like Jerry from Raising the Bar (was on TNT and is totally obscure), I would take that shit home with me and I would think about it. I felt the same way about Kennedy v. Louisiana when the court decided it. If I ever did law, It would only be with the ambitious plan of becoming a Supreme Court Justice so I could legislate from the bench.

But that's probably not going to happen xD

Lyric of the day: Fun - Carry On

Well I woke up to the sound of silence
the cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight
and I found you with a bottle of wine
your head in the curtains
and heart like the Fourth of July

You swore and said
"We are not
We are not shining stars"
This I know
I never said we are

Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows
to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

So I met up with some friends
at the edge of the night
At a bar off 75
And we talked and talked
about how our parents will die
All our neighbours and wives

But I like to think
I can cheat it all
To make up for the times I've been cheated on
And it's nice to know
When I was left for dead
I was found and now I don't roam these streets
I am not the ghost you are to me

Lessons learned

I was going to go on a rant about language, but I'm too tired. I'm instead going to post some things that I've learned recently.

1. There is a difference between descriptive and evaluative statements.
2. The ending from "When Harry Met Sally" has stuck with me, even though I don't remember the plot.
3. The American Mafia came into existence to protect immigrants
4. Sightstone is now made with a health crystal in League of Legends.
5. St. Mary's County is very far south

Lyric of the Day: N Sync - It's gonna be me [video - It is fantastic]

You might've been hurt, babe
That ain't no lie
You've seen them all come and go, oh..
I remember you told me
That it made you believe in
No man, no cry
Maybe that's why

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally,
Get to love somebody
Guess what,
It's gonna be me..

A new beginning

So this is a website shift that I hope comes with a philosophical and mental shift. We will see how it goes.

The Ravens still won the Superbowl.

Lyric of the day: Whitney Houston - Love is a Contact Sport
Love is a contact sport
You gotta move in tight
If you wanna do it right, here I am
Love is a contact sport
You gotta act untamed
If you wanna play the game
So grab my hand and.... slam!...