I just had a weird dream in a nap. But it was interesting, so I'm posting it.
I was on a spaceship. Kind of like the ones they have in Ender's Game. For some reason I know they've moved us all (everyone from Earth) onto these things. I have just been moved into a new community(communities are made of several different color-coded groups) they just created. They pulled a bunch of people they needed based on skill sets, so I am in a pod with no one I know.
My unfamiliarity with my group has led me to find out who is in the other crews. I wandered around the common rooms of the other groups hoping desperately to find someone I recognize. Thankfully I run into a friend from Earth-that-was. I know something happened to the Earth, but that its not something people like talking about. Despite being willing to break and question other rules that we have set up on this community, that is one that I don't mind, because it hurts me to talk about it.
She and I are both excited to see each other. We catch up in her (Red Group's) kitchen. I make pancakes while while she sits on on a bar stool across the counter in the very small kitchen. We talk about how crazy the move has been, how our personal spaces are still messes, and how we're interested in helping build this new community. After thinking I would have to move on from the old world as my memories fail, it is comforting to know that I will have someone from then with me.
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| Red's Kitchen |
We are interrupted by an acquaintance of mine from the old world. Someone I literally met twice, through a mutual friend. He walks in, and I realize not only does he have a Black Group jacket, he has an officer's jacket. This knowledge instantly sours me to him.
In addition to the pods of each color, each pod also has additional space. At a planning meeting, planners (I was one of these group) has decided on how we would all spit up our shapes. I was in a minority of people who wanted large open spaces with removable dividers so that we could use the spaces as all purpose. The end idea was that the groups would have separate living space for officers. These officer's would have no additional responsibility within the groups, in terms of significant workload. Since they had their own special living space, other group's members would be able to identify them for consult. I knew that realistically, this meant little, as the community was so small that my group did not need a pint of contact. Each person was already independent, so why did we need this excess organization and formal channel. To me it took away from the community.
After the meeting, one of the admins for the community approached me, since I was so vocal in the discussion. Upon seeing me looking frustrated with my loss in the meeting, they approached me laughing.
"Don't worry.", he said patting my back. "We are definitely considering you as one of Yellow Group's officers. You were outspoken in the meeting, and we need passionate people in this community"
"You can keep it.", I said removing his arm from my back. "Give it to whatever idiot needs that type of validation. I wouldn't know what to do with all that space"
As I saw his face go from smile the glare, I realized that I had let my anger at losing make me too abrasive. He gave me a "Harumph" and walked away.
My mind came back to my current situation in Red Group kitchen. My acquaintance had struck me at the type of person who would want the validation and take pride in being his group's officer. I don't know whether that made me disdain him or pity him, but it was not a positive emotion. I masked my negativity and welcomed him with a greeting. He came in and sat down at a bar stool. He joked that he was on "official business" to get cinnamon for Black Group. My friend laughed, but I did not, my face down in my cooking. I zoned out as I dealt with my conflicting emotions and making sure that I made a decent breakfast. As I cooked our pancakes, he continued to small talk with my friend, but I was too distracted to follow. He left by the time I had made my own pancakes and snapped back to reality.
When my friend and I finished breakfast, I asked what the plan was. This was our rest day, so I figured we could hang out and do whatever she wanted. I was still relieved from finding someone I knew, so I did not care what we did. She said that she had been invited upstairs for tea at the Black Officer's apartment. She sounded excited about seeing what the apartments looked like. Unlike me, she had not been on the planning group and did not work on the layout.
As we walked up the stairs to the Black Group quarters, in my head I walked through why I felt the need to tag along. I had not been invited personally, so I questioned if that meant I was not invited. But I was in the zone cooking, so my acquaintance might have actually included me and I might have missed it. Maybe I was not invited, because this was supposed to be private. I mused that I did always have a hard time telling when people were flirting and when they were just being nice to each other.
In the end, I settled on the fact that I had two main reasons for coming that were justifiable. First, this was the only friend I had in the community, and if I went back to my pod, I would just spend the rest of the day reading in my bunk. Second, I picked up sleazy vibes from the Black Officer. On the second time we met on Earth-that-was, he had told me some lines he used on girls, and that had come off to me as too pick-up artisty. I was going to hang out with and protect my one friend on this ship.
As we went into the Black Officer room, I rolled my eyes. The 7 by 8 foot room was bigger than the cramped shared kitchen that Red had. The apartment owner was in the middle of his room, painting a table rainbow colors. The newspaper on the floor protected the black floor. He waved at as to sit down in the previously painted chairs that were in a corner of his room. We sat down and he explained to us that he wanted to add more color to his living space. "All black everything is too much", he laughed, gesturing to the cupboards and countertops that he had masked off for painting.
The cupboards reminded us that we were here for tea, so my friend started getting a pot of water ready. She chatted with my acquaintance while I zoned out thinking of how we could apply the idea of colors to the entire community. "Oh, I have cookies", I blurted out as reality came back into focus. As the confusedly looked at me, I ran off to go get them. I skipped through the hallways using the lowered gravity. I saw a pair of my Yellow group members walk by who had come back from the gym. I went into the pod where my bunk was. Each pod had a four sets of two bunks arranged into a captial H. The bunks were in the vertical lines and the horizontal line was the hub of the pod.
I waved and greeted my hubmates. A bunch were chatting in the entry way. I got a quick nod of acknowledgement and they were back to their conversation. I juked into the path that my bunk was in. I rolled into my bunk, making sure to duck my head so I did not hit my head on the bed above me. As I searched through the boxes on my bed for the cookies so I could get back upstairs, I realized that there was someone on the bunk across from me. He was lying in bed, staring up at the bunk above him with his hands folded behind his head,. He looked like a young Chris Pratt, and sounded like him too, so in my head I nicknamed him Chris.
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| Yellow's Bunks |
"Hey man, you looked bummed", I said. My attention shifted from my search for cookies.
"That's because I am", he replied. His tone conveyed the feeling that I was Master of the Obvious.
"What's up, buddy?", I responded, shifting from prone to sitting up.
"Life. Sucks."
"You can't know that.", I said instantly, and as a matter-of-fact.
"You can't tell me what to see, dude"
"I just meant objectively. You can not know that life sucks. All you get is the perception of the world as it is filtered through you. We all basically get a filtered version of what the world is that is shaped by our internal perceptions."
"Really? That is what you're going with.", he said with a tone of annoyance.
"I mean how can you say life sucks if you don't even know what it is? All you have is your filtered perception. Maybe that is what needs changing."
"I guess that makes sense..."
"Here, I'll help you start changing that filter" I said as the realization of the significance of what I had just figured out hit me.
I smiled and nodded for him to follow me and I got off my bed, cookies in hand, as I faded into wakefullness.
