Just keep swimming

I have a terrible habit of clinging to the past. Whether it is events or people or places or things. I think part of it comes from the idea that all of the things I've interacted with are selfishly part of my life story (which is obviously the most important life story out there).

This blog was another part of this attempt to link my present to my past. Even it's title is a reference to a conversation that happened in my undergrad time. But in the words of George C. Marshall, "When a thing is done, it's done. Don't look back. Look forward to your next objective."

I've moved (physically), and I'm moving on to the next step in my life. There are things that I'm bringing with me, but they can't be to focus of what I'm moving on to. Even if I don't know what that is. They can remain a part of who I am without defining me. I watched "Hitch" yesterday and realized how many of the jokes in that I had picked up as recurring things I said. But just because it has become part of me doesn't mean I have to spend all my time waiting for the planned TV series.

So this is the last page of a love letter to the past. I'll post a link to the new adventure when I figure it out.

Things I'll keep with me on my next blogging venture
- Random art attempts (poetry or comics)
- Lyric of the day (lyrics do resonate with me)
- The occasional rant on social constructs
- Funny stories that I think are memorable
- Less entertaining stories that have sentimental meaning

Things I'm hoping to leave behind
- Self-destructive criticism or any sort of self-awareness
- Broken promises about upcoming rants I never publish
- Dreams of futures that have passed (movie references are staying though)

Lyric of the Day: Halestorm - Better Sorry Than Safe
"I'm not scared
'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me
And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see

I don't care that you call me crazy
I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe
There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe"

I like to move it

Before my big move, I decided to make one last trip to see my peeps. So far it has been pretty great and I'm glad I did it, even though I know when I get back it will be a rough move.

Thus far I got to
- Hang out with my hetero-life mate and his extended family. We were told to date, but not each other.
- Give advice on going to college
- Draft Khans and see true game sense work
- Buy a graduation present and leave it in the wrong state
- Become part of the cooking duo known as the "Chopped Boys"
- Go to my favorite museum
- Chat with a forever-friend and catch her up on my love life (or lack thereof)

*Edit:
- Went on a classic "looks like a double date because everyone else ditched"
- Got drinks with the college crew
- Played pool with the old roomates
- Talked about app development with a friend's BFF
- Dinner with the boys (an watching American Psycho)
- Saw "Me, Earl, and a Dying Girl"
- Had a 4 hour delay, but was able to read the book for the above movie as well as Mindy Kaling's first book

I don't have a comic. But I did have another friend get into photography, so that should work out for the better.

Lyric of the Day: Mazzy Star - Look On Down From The Bridge

"Maybe I'll just place my hands over you
And close my eyes real tight

There's a light in your eyes
And you know--yeah, you know

Look on down from the bridge
I'm still waiting for you"

A Whole New World

One of my favorite web comics, A Softer World, is ending. It captured what I thought was the perfect mix of melancholy and hope. I always take for granted that things will be there forever, even though that is rarely the case.

I'm going to be making a big move this summer, and it is kind of scary. New places. New people. New everything.

Change is my least favorite thing.

Should be interesting.

Anyway, here is my homage to ASW.

I would make a joke about sex dreams, but that is a picture of a baby and I feel bad.

Photo Credit: LKM Photos

Lyric of the Day: Chicago - Will You Still Love Me

"Just say you'll love me for the rest of your life
I gotta lot of love and I don't want to let go
Will you still love me for the rest of my life?
Cause I can't go on
No, I can't go on
I can't go on
If I'm on my own"

The Times They Are A Changin'

My Facebook feed is awash with another year of graduations and weddings. My close friends who went to grad school for the long haul are starting to get their PhDs and figure out their next step. Some of my friends have started having kids. Even I have started to reassess my plans for life and my career.

2015 should be an interesting year.

I also made a comic. So there is that too.

And sometimes you need to rub its back until it burps.

Lyric of the Day: Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A Changin'

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'

"The saddest day I came across was when I learned that life goes on without me"

I recently took a trip back to MD. The motivation was partially that I missed being independent and partially that my list of reasons to go back was long enough that I could justify it.

I spent the first couple days with my friend who was on spring break. Even though I was sick the first couple of days, we were able to make sure that he spent his break playing Minecraft instead of being productive. Got to squeeze in dinner with friends in the city. Ate some mussels, had a shot of butterscotch schnapps, saw MD basketball win in March, and went to my go-to mixed-Asian restaurant. I will definitely miss the Charmery's Old Bay Caramel Ice Cream.

The next couple days I spent with another friend and his wife in their guest room.  Went to midnight pre-release and played 2HG, going 3-1. Played board games all day for two days with friends from grad school who I had not seen for a while. I also pet-sat for the first time ever (that chinchilla in college doesn't count).

My last week I crashed by my friend who lived on campus. We played through the first 3 Uncharted games while catching up on what was happening in out lives. Had a boardgame night with a couple couples I had missed on my way out of MD. Got to play out D's Delivery Service and Marvel movie fanboy with a friend who was in recovery. Hitched a ride with sisters I had not seen in far too long. I got to have pre-birthday lunch with the college gang. Didn't get to meet my friend's baby because I was still getting over a cold or have dinner with a friend who I had to reschedule with 3 times, but c'est la vie.

Everyone is going well, and though my friends and I miss each other, things go on. It still scares me how much the parts of life keep churning when a piece is removed, but that probably just comes from an over-inflated sense of self-importance. This trip was a good reminder that everything keeps moving forward, and so should I.

I always liked the closing lines of the Great Gatsby: "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

I always focused on the last part about us being borne into the past. The futility of resisting your history. The overwhelming force of the past and our experiences. It is all very romantic.

However, equally important is that we beat on against the current that is life. Even if we are borne into the past, you still have to paddle forwards. And beat on we must.

Lyrics of the Day: Bad Suns - Cardiac Arrest

"I’ve been tryin’ to keep my grip, yeah I think I’m over this

I can hear it now, oh no, oh no-o

Yeah my tongue will let it slip, why’d I do those things I did

I can taste it now, oh no, oh no-o

I’ll try my best, how much do I invest?

Like cardiac arrest, high voltage in her lips

I’ll try my best, how much do I invest?

Like cardiac arrest, high voltage when we kiss."

On the road again

Spending a couple weeks traveling. I realized that I hadn't updated my comic in a while, so I figured I should add one from the stash. It is called "Sunny Outlook"

The glass is half full. Of an odorless colorless poison. Or it might just be water.

Photo Credit:

LKM PHOTOS

Lyric of the Day: Jack's Mannequin - The Mixed Tape

"This is morning

That's when I spend the most time

Thinking 'bout what I've given up"

Symbols

About a month ago, I graduated from grad school. Because of how messy things were with trying to finish, I hadn't lined up anything for when I finished. I had to move back home for the first time in a over 8 years. It was weird for me, since I had basically been on my own for a long time.

On the drive to my parents' home, my car engine blew up. The car that I had gotten in high school, when I first gained the ability to call home and let us my parents know if I was spending the night by a high school friend. The car that drove me to college. The car that I used to visit friends who had been scattered across the US after. The car that I drove to my first job, every day to college, and that I took across the country one summer.

Losing that symbol of my independence was rough for me.

It made me doubt myself.

I had taken a step back and gone to live home for a while.

It almost made me feel helpless.

Sometimes things happen that put things like this in perspective.

I now realize that this is an opportunity to do what I had wanted to do anyway. Spend some time with my grandparents in their retirement. Help my parents around the house a bit. Explore non-academic interests. Think about the past couple years.

Nothing like a break to clear your head. And life popping up to remind you of the things that matter.

Edit: Bonus Comic!

The house always wins. The house being the inevitability of the universe.

Photo Credit: LKM PHOTOS

Lyric of the Day: Friendly Fires - Blue Cassette
"As I hear your voice,
It sets my heart on fire.
That with all the noise,
It sets my heart on fire."